Patient Endurance and Christ's Suffering?
Misfit mom here blogging today and feeling better than I felt yesterday which was a very blah day.
There has been two phases in my morning devotions that have stuck in my spirit. Today it hit me from Rev. 1. It talked about patient endurance and joining in Christ's suffering. Both concepts I have spiritual trouble with. Maybe it's my immaturity, maybe it's my knee jerk reaction to suffering or enduring. I don't know. Does anyone have any insights about this subject?
Thursday, December 30, 2004
Saturday, December 25, 2004
Friday, December 24, 2004
Well it's Christmas Eve, actually it's 6:18 a.m and I've just finished my bible study. The lamb has gone into the oven. It will be ready in an hour and 20 min. Twenty minutes to the pound and twenty minutes over Jan tells me.
Jan woke up and share he had a dream yesterday that Rosie went to heaven. When she got there God stroked her lovingly on the head and opened a door for her to go through. There were many other dogs playing happily and she was wagging her tail as she pranced through the door. We were all comforted by the dream. I had prayed the day before that GOD would comfort Jan and give him a revelation about Rosie.
I really feel in my spirit that our beloved animals go to the LORD. That when we die we will meet them again.
May you all have a blessed Christmas remembering to thank GOD for HIS gift to us. That gift is His Son, Jesus Christ.
Anyone want to go to South Africa in January to help the aids orphans through a missions organization called African Enterprises? If so please e-mail me for more details.
Jan woke up and share he had a dream yesterday that Rosie went to heaven. When she got there God stroked her lovingly on the head and opened a door for her to go through. There were many other dogs playing happily and she was wagging her tail as she pranced through the door. We were all comforted by the dream. I had prayed the day before that GOD would comfort Jan and give him a revelation about Rosie.
I really feel in my spirit that our beloved animals go to the LORD. That when we die we will meet them again.
May you all have a blessed Christmas remembering to thank GOD for HIS gift to us. That gift is His Son, Jesus Christ.
Anyone want to go to South Africa in January to help the aids orphans through a missions organization called African Enterprises? If so please e-mail me for more details.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
ROSIE, OUR LITTLE YORKIE DIED YESTERDAY
There was sorrow in the house all day yesterday. Rosie was in the road when Alexandra and I were returning from doing some shopping late in the morning. She was so happy to see us that she ran right into the car. Alexandra was grief stricken and crying hysterical. Jan postponed his grief until the night when the tears just came flooding out of him. Then in the night I awoke to his sobbing.
We lit a candle last night and said prayers for Rosie. The vet said that we would have her ashes in four days. I hope to have a ceremony outside. I want to paint a stone with her name on it and some heartfelt thoughts. I would like to set it in the ground as a permanent marker for us to remember her by.
If anyone has lost a beloved animal please share your insights and prayers with us.
There was sorrow in the house all day yesterday. Rosie was in the road when Alexandra and I were returning from doing some shopping late in the morning. She was so happy to see us that she ran right into the car. Alexandra was grief stricken and crying hysterical. Jan postponed his grief until the night when the tears just came flooding out of him. Then in the night I awoke to his sobbing.
We lit a candle last night and said prayers for Rosie. The vet said that we would have her ashes in four days. I hope to have a ceremony outside. I want to paint a stone with her name on it and some heartfelt thoughts. I would like to set it in the ground as a permanent marker for us to remember her by.
If anyone has lost a beloved animal please share your insights and prayers with us.
Sunday, December 19, 2004
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A WIFE IN THE ICU WAITING ROOM
No more than 2400 mg of Sodium, no more than 2 eggs per week, reduce fat in his milk to 1% otherwise Jan can really remain on the diet that is part of his lifestyle. Adjustments, have you noticed the older you get the more adjustments you have to make as far as your health is concerned.
Did I tell you that when I returned from lunch there was a black lady in a hospital gown, no shoes, and a bit out of it making an unauthorized visit to the cafeteria to score some Chic Fil Lay? She was making her way back to the 9th floor from where she escaped; I hope it’s not the Psych ward. But she had the dilemma of hiding the bag with her lunch inside while riding on the elevator. So, she thought about it. First it went under her nightdress mounted on her stomach, but then she thought about it some more, and transferred the package in between her legs. If I didn’t see it unfolding before my eyes I wouldn’t have believed it. I wonder what the dietary department would have made of such an incidence as this? There are some funny things that happen in a hospital.
The little nurse returns to our room. We start to chat and she tells us that she has been transferred from the Cardiac ICU Unit upstairs because of lower back problems. She works three 9-9 shifts three days a week, no weekends and loves it. Nice unit here 22 beds in the Cardiac Post Intervention Unit. Looks brand new to me. Here she comes, out to get a piece of gauze. Took out the needle from Jan’s vein, removed the contact patches from his chest, and unplugged the cardiac monitor. Jan got dressed quickly. The little nurse’s name is Sherri. It’s written on her nametag. The first name is very big and her last name is very small. I wonder what that’s all about? Sherri is very sweet and bubbly.
She told Jan he could walk down to the lobby at first she wanted to get a wheelchair but she would have to escort us. Before that, Jan would have to walk the halls backwards and forwards. To make sure he was stable enough to leave, which he did very well.
We got to the lobby and said good-bye and thank you to sweet Sherri, the nurse. Jan was a free man, praise the Lord! We walked about 300 paces from the hospital door to the car. Jan got in but had to get out to direct me out of the space. Someone parked illegally at the rear of my car therefore space was at a premium. I needed some help to navigate out of the space. He got back into the car and we were home by 5:30.
Lots of calls on the answering machine, Vera, Cousin Ann, Pastor Jim, Hank, Laurie, Sylvia, Alexandra twice, all these people had to be called. Jan went straight to bed. He was still somewhat groggy from all the drugs that he was given today. I cooked some dinner for him, which he said he would eat later. I made a salad and returned some phone calls, then checked my e-mail. I was exhausted emotionally feeling like I had ran an emotional marathon. I’m off to bed myself. Tomorrow is a new day.
No more than 2400 mg of Sodium, no more than 2 eggs per week, reduce fat in his milk to 1% otherwise Jan can really remain on the diet that is part of his lifestyle. Adjustments, have you noticed the older you get the more adjustments you have to make as far as your health is concerned.
Did I tell you that when I returned from lunch there was a black lady in a hospital gown, no shoes, and a bit out of it making an unauthorized visit to the cafeteria to score some Chic Fil Lay? She was making her way back to the 9th floor from where she escaped; I hope it’s not the Psych ward. But she had the dilemma of hiding the bag with her lunch inside while riding on the elevator. So, she thought about it. First it went under her nightdress mounted on her stomach, but then she thought about it some more, and transferred the package in between her legs. If I didn’t see it unfolding before my eyes I wouldn’t have believed it. I wonder what the dietary department would have made of such an incidence as this? There are some funny things that happen in a hospital.
The little nurse returns to our room. We start to chat and she tells us that she has been transferred from the Cardiac ICU Unit upstairs because of lower back problems. She works three 9-9 shifts three days a week, no weekends and loves it. Nice unit here 22 beds in the Cardiac Post Intervention Unit. Looks brand new to me. Here she comes, out to get a piece of gauze. Took out the needle from Jan’s vein, removed the contact patches from his chest, and unplugged the cardiac monitor. Jan got dressed quickly. The little nurse’s name is Sherri. It’s written on her nametag. The first name is very big and her last name is very small. I wonder what that’s all about? Sherri is very sweet and bubbly.
She told Jan he could walk down to the lobby at first she wanted to get a wheelchair but she would have to escort us. Before that, Jan would have to walk the halls backwards and forwards. To make sure he was stable enough to leave, which he did very well.
We got to the lobby and said good-bye and thank you to sweet Sherri, the nurse. Jan was a free man, praise the Lord! We walked about 300 paces from the hospital door to the car. Jan got in but had to get out to direct me out of the space. Someone parked illegally at the rear of my car therefore space was at a premium. I needed some help to navigate out of the space. He got back into the car and we were home by 5:30.
Lots of calls on the answering machine, Vera, Cousin Ann, Pastor Jim, Hank, Laurie, Sylvia, Alexandra twice, all these people had to be called. Jan went straight to bed. He was still somewhat groggy from all the drugs that he was given today. I cooked some dinner for him, which he said he would eat later. I made a salad and returned some phone calls, then checked my e-mail. I was exhausted emotionally feeling like I had ran an emotional marathon. I’m off to bed myself. Tomorrow is a new day.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A WIFE IN THE ICU WAITING ROOM
Dr. Drucker just came in. He only received two phone calls in two minutes while visiting Jan. The visit lasted all of five minutes. He said that Jan looked good, the surgery was successful, yet hedged his bets with saying that there was a 10% chance his condition might come back. We would have to wait and see if the flutter which turned into a fib would be a problem in the future? Maybe the ablation took care of both the flutter and the fib? But yet if the fib becomes problematic in the future another ablation should be considered. Do I really want to go through this again? I just store the information in the back of my mind. Hoping just to get through this day and not fall to pieces. There’s no one to pick up the pieces anyway. Let us hope that Jan’s heart is taken care of, at least for the time being.
Lori, Dr. Drucker’s P.A. just rang him up which was the second call. I’d venture to say the first phone call was from his wife. Lori’s ring had a distinctive Caribbean beat. I almost felt like dancing. 4:10 pm. and counting down, 20 more minutes before release. It sounds like a prison escape; at times it feels like one.
Oprah is on the TV; we just finished watching Dr. Phil who was talking about kids who needed interventions. Now we’re watching Oprah and she is doing on show on a husband who wanted to kill his wife, a pit bull dog who attacked a child, Joshua was the child’s name. Not good television material for such a time as this. The programs are not exactly uplifting or encouraging. Should have stuck with my spiritual book. Jan is still very out of it from all the drugs. He’s going on automatic pilot. I want to unplug Jan and escape. Its 4:24 p.m. Jan is still connected to a monitor via a WINFI connection to the nurse’s station. Very state of the art technology, I was very impressed by the medical technology in place these days. Six more minutes I want to dress Jan and go. I’m looking at the clock go around and around. The second hand is moving ever so slowly on the clock. He still has an IV needle that has to be pulled.
On Oprah there is a segment about a liver transplant for a baby that brought tears to my eyes. BINGO! It’s 4:30 p.m. ESCAPE IS EMMINENT! Jan walked the halls successfully. Now we’re just waiting for the nurse to come to pull his IV needle hook up. The nurse arrives and checked his vital signs for the last time. She just left the room to check on the doctor’s orders before she pulls the monitor tags off. She says she’ll be back in a minute. It’s 4:45 pm now. I am still counting every second, time seems like it is dragging along. Have you ever waited on something and each second feels like an eternity? I pray that Jan will start exercising and start talking care of himself.
Dr. Drucker just came in. He only received two phone calls in two minutes while visiting Jan. The visit lasted all of five minutes. He said that Jan looked good, the surgery was successful, yet hedged his bets with saying that there was a 10% chance his condition might come back. We would have to wait and see if the flutter which turned into a fib would be a problem in the future? Maybe the ablation took care of both the flutter and the fib? But yet if the fib becomes problematic in the future another ablation should be considered. Do I really want to go through this again? I just store the information in the back of my mind. Hoping just to get through this day and not fall to pieces. There’s no one to pick up the pieces anyway. Let us hope that Jan’s heart is taken care of, at least for the time being.
Lori, Dr. Drucker’s P.A. just rang him up which was the second call. I’d venture to say the first phone call was from his wife. Lori’s ring had a distinctive Caribbean beat. I almost felt like dancing. 4:10 pm. and counting down, 20 more minutes before release. It sounds like a prison escape; at times it feels like one.
Oprah is on the TV; we just finished watching Dr. Phil who was talking about kids who needed interventions. Now we’re watching Oprah and she is doing on show on a husband who wanted to kill his wife, a pit bull dog who attacked a child, Joshua was the child’s name. Not good television material for such a time as this. The programs are not exactly uplifting or encouraging. Should have stuck with my spiritual book. Jan is still very out of it from all the drugs. He’s going on automatic pilot. I want to unplug Jan and escape. Its 4:24 p.m. Jan is still connected to a monitor via a WINFI connection to the nurse’s station. Very state of the art technology, I was very impressed by the medical technology in place these days. Six more minutes I want to dress Jan and go. I’m looking at the clock go around and around. The second hand is moving ever so slowly on the clock. He still has an IV needle that has to be pulled.
On Oprah there is a segment about a liver transplant for a baby that brought tears to my eyes. BINGO! It’s 4:30 p.m. ESCAPE IS EMMINENT! Jan walked the halls successfully. Now we’re just waiting for the nurse to come to pull his IV needle hook up. The nurse arrives and checked his vital signs for the last time. She just left the room to check on the doctor’s orders before she pulls the monitor tags off. She says she’ll be back in a minute. It’s 4:45 pm now. I am still counting every second, time seems like it is dragging along. Have you ever waited on something and each second feels like an eternity? I pray that Jan will start exercising and start talking care of himself.
Sunday, December 12, 2004
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A WIFE IN THE WAITING ROOM
John Cleese for Westinghouse Salad Express catches my attention on the tube. I wonder how much they paid him for that commercial? Dr. Brown, dial 853 blaring ever so loudly from the intercom. That sound could wake the dead. I made myself smile. Must be my sick sense of humor at this time.
Jan is resting quietly again. Who should I call when I get home? I’ll certainly call James
Alexandra, my prayer partners, cousin Ann, Cheryl Jones, the church those are a few a names that come to mind. Blood thinners for a month for Jan, no heavy lifting for three days, he’s still resting and that’s the best thing he can do. Dr. William Brown, dial 853 is blaring again but they reduced the volume. No doubt someone said something about it. Thank God!
Just called James and Alexandra. They weren’t around so I left messages on their cell phones. James just called me back within the hour. He was in class. After asking about his Dad, he told me not to be mad at Alexandra. I told him I couldn’t discuss it right now. Hopefully when we get home the problem will be resolved. I thought that was very grown up of him to say that if she needed to be in Chicago it was all right with him, if that was her higher calling. I can only fight one emotional battle at a time. This one is a heavy load for me to carry right now.
I must call Fun Time Tennis and tell them I won’t be playing tomorrow. I think I should take care of Jan and monitor his progress. My friend Lori came in to check on Jan. She is Dr. Ducker’s PA. I didn’t recognize her at first. That seems to be happening from time to time with other’s too. Must be a senior moment. But the story fell into place in my mind. Lori and I had gone to India several years earlier on a medical missions trip. She was still in PA school and used that trip as clinical experience. We roomed together so I got to know her a bit better. She’s married now; changing jobs to a Family Practice PA in the next month, and seems happy. I’m happy for her. She tells me that Jan can get off his medications. There in only one medication that has to be reduced gradually over the next week. Remember that was the carrot for me when I even considered letting Jan go in for surgery. She checked Jan’s heart and everything is looking positive at this point.
It’s 3:53 p.m only 37 minutes to go, 37 minutes and counting down. Dr. Drucker is supposed to come by and see Jan again. He has to write his discharge papers before we go anywhere. He will schedule Jan for an office visit in 6 weeks. There is only one half hour left and I am still counting. The nurse just came in and pulled the cath and removed the various lines, needles, and patches connected to his body. She gave Jan one of those portable urinals but he couldn’t go in bed. He’ll wait till he can get up so that he can use the bathroom in the room.
John Cleese for Westinghouse Salad Express catches my attention on the tube. I wonder how much they paid him for that commercial? Dr. Brown, dial 853 blaring ever so loudly from the intercom. That sound could wake the dead. I made myself smile. Must be my sick sense of humor at this time.
Jan is resting quietly again. Who should I call when I get home? I’ll certainly call James
Alexandra, my prayer partners, cousin Ann, Cheryl Jones, the church those are a few a names that come to mind. Blood thinners for a month for Jan, no heavy lifting for three days, he’s still resting and that’s the best thing he can do. Dr. William Brown, dial 853 is blaring again but they reduced the volume. No doubt someone said something about it. Thank God!
Just called James and Alexandra. They weren’t around so I left messages on their cell phones. James just called me back within the hour. He was in class. After asking about his Dad, he told me not to be mad at Alexandra. I told him I couldn’t discuss it right now. Hopefully when we get home the problem will be resolved. I thought that was very grown up of him to say that if she needed to be in Chicago it was all right with him, if that was her higher calling. I can only fight one emotional battle at a time. This one is a heavy load for me to carry right now.
I must call Fun Time Tennis and tell them I won’t be playing tomorrow. I think I should take care of Jan and monitor his progress. My friend Lori came in to check on Jan. She is Dr. Ducker’s PA. I didn’t recognize her at first. That seems to be happening from time to time with other’s too. Must be a senior moment. But the story fell into place in my mind. Lori and I had gone to India several years earlier on a medical missions trip. She was still in PA school and used that trip as clinical experience. We roomed together so I got to know her a bit better. She’s married now; changing jobs to a Family Practice PA in the next month, and seems happy. I’m happy for her. She tells me that Jan can get off his medications. There in only one medication that has to be reduced gradually over the next week. Remember that was the carrot for me when I even considered letting Jan go in for surgery. She checked Jan’s heart and everything is looking positive at this point.
It’s 3:53 p.m only 37 minutes to go, 37 minutes and counting down. Dr. Drucker is supposed to come by and see Jan again. He has to write his discharge papers before we go anywhere. He will schedule Jan for an office visit in 6 weeks. There is only one half hour left and I am still counting. The nurse just came in and pulled the cath and removed the various lines, needles, and patches connected to his body. She gave Jan one of those portable urinals but he couldn’t go in bed. He’ll wait till he can get up so that he can use the bathroom in the room.
Saturday, December 11, 2004
Friday, December 10, 2004
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A WIFE IN THE ICU WAITING ROOM
I arrived in room 3211 at about 12:15. Looking around I found no Jan. I even looked in the bathroom. I was there all by myself which after heart surgery is an unsettling feeling for a wife. When will he be here? Where is he now? Is he in the in-transit twilight zone? Will I ever see him again? Minutes feel like an eternity. A nurse tells me that he’ll be in his room in about 10 minutes. I’m counting down again. That’s what the whole day feels like a count down. I am popping my head out to the hallway looking back and forth down the corridor. Then I see a gurney coming towards me. It’s Jan hooray, hip hip hooray I found him. I saw him first. He didn’t see me until he was right upon me. I was told to wait outside the room until they settled him in. That in itself took 15 minutes. There were various people coming and going in his room. I don’t see why it takes 4 or 5 people to settle someone in. But then again I just wanted to be inside with him. I guess I resented being asked to wait outside. I wanted to protect him, to comfort him, and to love on him.
I think they keep the family as far away as possible to avoid lawsuits of any kind or have any interference. It never was that way in the old days. Medical care has sure changed in the last 30 years. Looking at the TV always taking notes. Now my attention is caught by a Lex-Mart Photo Printer commercial, I see it in the corner of my eye.
I finally got into the room with Jan. Upon his board opposite his bed the nurse wrote bed rest until 4:30 pm. That is the first thing that I notice. What time is it now? I’m still in countdown mode. I spoke to the nurse who wrote the message. The interpretation is: if he is not dizzy, if he can walk down the hallway by himself, if his vital signs and wound site looks good then at 4:30 he can get dressed and go home. (maybe)???
Jan had a couple of bites of lunch, It consisted of beans, meatloaf and mashed potatoes. It all looked rather non-appealing to me. I cut up his food for him and tried to help him get it down. They positioned him in a rather awkward position for eating. He is resting now and trying to sleep. He just woke up coughing. That smoker’s cough is still plaguing him. We’re watching Family Matters. It’s 1:30 pm now 3 hours and still counting down.
I arrived in room 3211 at about 12:15. Looking around I found no Jan. I even looked in the bathroom. I was there all by myself which after heart surgery is an unsettling feeling for a wife. When will he be here? Where is he now? Is he in the in-transit twilight zone? Will I ever see him again? Minutes feel like an eternity. A nurse tells me that he’ll be in his room in about 10 minutes. I’m counting down again. That’s what the whole day feels like a count down. I am popping my head out to the hallway looking back and forth down the corridor. Then I see a gurney coming towards me. It’s Jan hooray, hip hip hooray I found him. I saw him first. He didn’t see me until he was right upon me. I was told to wait outside the room until they settled him in. That in itself took 15 minutes. There were various people coming and going in his room. I don’t see why it takes 4 or 5 people to settle someone in. But then again I just wanted to be inside with him. I guess I resented being asked to wait outside. I wanted to protect him, to comfort him, and to love on him.
I think they keep the family as far away as possible to avoid lawsuits of any kind or have any interference. It never was that way in the old days. Medical care has sure changed in the last 30 years. Looking at the TV always taking notes. Now my attention is caught by a Lex-Mart Photo Printer commercial, I see it in the corner of my eye.
I finally got into the room with Jan. Upon his board opposite his bed the nurse wrote bed rest until 4:30 pm. That is the first thing that I notice. What time is it now? I’m still in countdown mode. I spoke to the nurse who wrote the message. The interpretation is: if he is not dizzy, if he can walk down the hallway by himself, if his vital signs and wound site looks good then at 4:30 he can get dressed and go home. (maybe)???
Jan had a couple of bites of lunch, It consisted of beans, meatloaf and mashed potatoes. It all looked rather non-appealing to me. I cut up his food for him and tried to help him get it down. They positioned him in a rather awkward position for eating. He is resting now and trying to sleep. He just woke up coughing. That smoker’s cough is still plaguing him. We’re watching Family Matters. It’s 1:30 pm now 3 hours and still counting down.
Thursday, December 09, 2004
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A WIFE IN THE ICU WAITING ROOM
Dr. Drucker just came in, he said that Jan’s heart rhythms went from a flutter to a fibrillation both are arrhythmias of the heart. The latter I think is more serious. He said that Jan would have to take his blood thinning meds for a month. I hope he gets off all those medications. That was the carrot for me when I even considered going into this. Dr. Drucker also said that Jan might have to go through another procedure with additional risks if his heart fibrillation deteriorates, just what you don’t want to hear after surviving this cardiac surgery. I’m told that Jan will be in room 3211 for the next four hours recuperating but he will not be there for approximately 15 minutes. I guess he’s in-transit.
Went and had lunch in the café. I ordered chicken livers with rice and green beans. Sat with the elderly woman and her daughter who I had met earlier this morning in the ICU. The both were from Stuart, VA. I offered them a bed in my house. They had been in the waiting room for four days. The daughter declined the offer. Saying that Mom would not leave the waiting room. As I got up to empty my tray I noticed my friend Irene sitting by herself behind me. I play bridge with Irene on Friday’s. She was here to see her sister in law who had broken her leg and to get her ventilation therapy. We chatted for a couple of minutes. Then I was off to Room 3211.
Dr. Drucker just came in, he said that Jan’s heart rhythms went from a flutter to a fibrillation both are arrhythmias of the heart. The latter I think is more serious. He said that Jan would have to take his blood thinning meds for a month. I hope he gets off all those medications. That was the carrot for me when I even considered going into this. Dr. Drucker also said that Jan might have to go through another procedure with additional risks if his heart fibrillation deteriorates, just what you don’t want to hear after surviving this cardiac surgery. I’m told that Jan will be in room 3211 for the next four hours recuperating but he will not be there for approximately 15 minutes. I guess he’s in-transit.
Went and had lunch in the café. I ordered chicken livers with rice and green beans. Sat with the elderly woman and her daughter who I had met earlier this morning in the ICU. The both were from Stuart, VA. I offered them a bed in my house. They had been in the waiting room for four days. The daughter declined the offer. Saying that Mom would not leave the waiting room. As I got up to empty my tray I noticed my friend Irene sitting by herself behind me. I play bridge with Irene on Friday’s. She was here to see her sister in law who had broken her leg and to get her ventilation therapy. We chatted for a couple of minutes. Then I was off to Room 3211.
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A WIFE IN THE ICU WAITING ROOM
Eating a piece of cornbread now. I will probably have some soup or chicken for lunch. Tom Broker was saying good-bye on NBC’s Today Show with Katie & Matt toasting him. He said his final good-bye as his voice broke. As tears filled his eyes, my eyes were filling just watching him. What a handsome talented man he is, worthy of much honor.
There are 25 people in the waiting room, still some coming and some going. I remember a woman of 80 or so years being led ever so tenderly by her daughter to her husband who was undergoing a cardiac procedure. Some people are sitting by themselves, some in twos, others in multiple groups. I’m aware of being by myself. That’s a continual theme of my life. An emotional hurdle I seem to have to jump over on a regular basis. Sometimes those hurdles feel very high. Such a time is now. A doctor is giving an update to a family huddled together. They are a family of four. Yet the majority waiting here are in groups of one and two. Maybe the twos have it? Cardiologists are coming and going. Two are here reviewing the results of their patient’s surgeries with the family. Are the doctors happy at their jobs? They train so long, too long in my opinion. What is the burn out rate for cardiologist?
On page 18 in my spiritual book a sentence strikes a cord in my spirit. “A mother’s heart is tender. I don’t know any mother who wouldn’t willingly trade her own comfort to ease the suffering of her child”. The whole situation with Alexandra is a good illustration of that right now. Willing to let go of the outcome of her not attending James’ graduation this week. Letting go and letting God work it all out, it is still a tough war that is going on in my spirit from time to time interwoven in the midst of this crisis. If God doesn’t want her to come, I just pray that He will tell Jan and James and that the Comforter would truly come and comfort us.
The doctor has gone around to another patient. This particular cardiologist is from India. I can tell by his accent. I hear bits and pieces coming from his mouth, “50% kidney function, TEE, he’s doing well, pain free”. I guess my hearing is either diminishing or I’m not a good ease dropper.
“Whatever my lot it is well, it is well with my soul”. That chorus is running around in my mind. Even when it is not well with our circumstances, it can be well with my soul. I tried to ring up my prayer partner Sylvia, but she was out with the person she takes care of. Francis is an orphan, she’s lovely, and an ex nurse. I remember those things about her. Francis had a doctor’s appointment this morning. I said I would call back. Where is everyone when you need them?
Ten people are now in the waiting room. The ebb and tide of family members waiting on the results of their loved ones surgery is moving at a faster rate. It’s 12:00 noon, high noon, almost six hours from when hence we started. My lower back is killing me. I can’t really sit any longer. I think I over did it with racquetball the other day. Playing doubles with 2 open players at the Y may have done me in.
.
Eating a piece of cornbread now. I will probably have some soup or chicken for lunch. Tom Broker was saying good-bye on NBC’s Today Show with Katie & Matt toasting him. He said his final good-bye as his voice broke. As tears filled his eyes, my eyes were filling just watching him. What a handsome talented man he is, worthy of much honor.
There are 25 people in the waiting room, still some coming and some going. I remember a woman of 80 or so years being led ever so tenderly by her daughter to her husband who was undergoing a cardiac procedure. Some people are sitting by themselves, some in twos, others in multiple groups. I’m aware of being by myself. That’s a continual theme of my life. An emotional hurdle I seem to have to jump over on a regular basis. Sometimes those hurdles feel very high. Such a time is now. A doctor is giving an update to a family huddled together. They are a family of four. Yet the majority waiting here are in groups of one and two. Maybe the twos have it? Cardiologists are coming and going. Two are here reviewing the results of their patient’s surgeries with the family. Are the doctors happy at their jobs? They train so long, too long in my opinion. What is the burn out rate for cardiologist?
On page 18 in my spiritual book a sentence strikes a cord in my spirit. “A mother’s heart is tender. I don’t know any mother who wouldn’t willingly trade her own comfort to ease the suffering of her child”. The whole situation with Alexandra is a good illustration of that right now. Willing to let go of the outcome of her not attending James’ graduation this week. Letting go and letting God work it all out, it is still a tough war that is going on in my spirit from time to time interwoven in the midst of this crisis. If God doesn’t want her to come, I just pray that He will tell Jan and James and that the Comforter would truly come and comfort us.
The doctor has gone around to another patient. This particular cardiologist is from India. I can tell by his accent. I hear bits and pieces coming from his mouth, “50% kidney function, TEE, he’s doing well, pain free”. I guess my hearing is either diminishing or I’m not a good ease dropper.
“Whatever my lot it is well, it is well with my soul”. That chorus is running around in my mind. Even when it is not well with our circumstances, it can be well with my soul. I tried to ring up my prayer partner Sylvia, but she was out with the person she takes care of. Francis is an orphan, she’s lovely, and an ex nurse. I remember those things about her. Francis had a doctor’s appointment this morning. I said I would call back. Where is everyone when you need them?
Ten people are now in the waiting room. The ebb and tide of family members waiting on the results of their loved ones surgery is moving at a faster rate. It’s 12:00 noon, high noon, almost six hours from when hence we started. My lower back is killing me. I can’t really sit any longer. I think I over did it with racquetball the other day. Playing doubles with 2 open players at the Y may have done me in.
.
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A WIFE IN THE ICU WAITING ROOM
The doctor had told me that Jan will be in bed for a couple of days. This will be a good time for him to do the Christmas cards. Maybe we will get them out early this year. Where should I buy them? How many should I buy? Maybe I’ll start with 50 and go from there. We have to get the ones out to Europe in good time.
Twenty people surround me in the small CC waiting room. Daughters, sons, husbands, wives, and all the other family members who are waiting anxiously for the results of a loved one who is currently going through heart surgery. No one under 14 years old can wait here. I wonder why? A Pepsi machine is next to a candy machine, they flank the right hand door. Beside them on the right of the machines are 2 water fountains. One water fountain is taller than the other. Maybe it is for the little people they don’t allow in the waiting room? Or maybe it’s for handicapped individuals in wheelchairs? I’m not sure. There is a coffee set up next to the water fountains, which resides 6 inches from the door. Everything on the coffee table is disposable.
The nurse said every hour or hour and a half they would let me know Jan’s status, which is good. It’s 10 a.m. now. A doctor is recounting the outcome of a cardiac procedure to a family 15 feet away from me. Stints, stitches, and holding area those are the only words I pick up. The TV is competing with the doctor’s explanation. I’m trying not to ease drop but the room is small. Had a banana and an egg biscuit this morning at 7:45. Why do I get hungry when I’m anxious? Most people lose their appetites. I guess I still have to work on my “emotional eating patterns”.
Read an article on the “New Divorce”. Subheading, why more women than ever are calling it quits and why men don’t see it coming in the August 2004 AARP magazine. Should have stuck with the spiritual book I was reading. The one Cheryl Jones gave me for my birthday called “Lessons I Learned in the Dark, Steps to Walking by Faith, not by Sight” by Jennifer Rothschild. The introduction is by Beth Moore, who is one of my favorite people. She also gave me the journal that I’m writing on right now along with the book.
I may go to the Café again and see what there is. I need a walk more than anything and I could use a ladies room. It’s 10:55 a.m. and I went to the café. They only thing that looked good was a piece of cornbread. Have you ever brought something you thought you wanted to eat, it looked good, and then when you tasted it, it didn’t live up to your expectations? I find that a lot in life. Is there a spiritual lesson to by learnt?
Left my umbrella besides the receptionist on my way to the main lobby. Navigating back to the CC waiting room I only missed one turn and had to retract my steps only by 200 paces. I hope I don’t forget that umbrella. I’m tempted to put it in the car when I go on my next adventure. Now there are 24 people in the waiting room. There is an ebb and flow of bodies coming in and out. Funny the things you notice when you’re waiting. The commercials on TV, “New Apprentice”, Julia Roberts interview coming up for her new movie “Closer”, Access Hollywood, Niva of “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” fame looks really good as she is being interviewed on the red carpet.
Back to my spiritual book on page 15 the last sentence reads “Although suffering can be the hearts best taskmaster, its curriculum may open the door to freedom beyond our loftiest expectations. Sometimes in the adversity we dread that we begin to discover the kind of life we’ve only dreamed of”. Suffering is the hearts taskmaster. Lord, I hate to suffer. Sometimes it hurts so much.
That was Frankie on the phone. Jan came through the procedure fine. Four burns later to his heart, Dr. Druker will come to see me in the waiting room in about 45 minuets to give me more information, that’s if everything is o.k. after being held in recovery for 45 minuets. If not, Frankie will call me again to tell if they have to continue the ablation. He was in arterial fibrillation, that’s more serious than the flutter and they had to do a cardio conversion (shock) and that didn’t thrill me. I can only hope and pray that all will be well.
It’s 11:15 a.m. watching or glancing every so often at the tube, scenes from “Desperate Housewives” are being pictured. The gardener is on a ladder clipping away at a tall bush. I try to go back to the book. I am trying to add up the time we will have to be in the hospital. I feel like we are prisoners who are plotting an escape. 45 minutes more in recovery, then 4 hours in a hospital room here. God willing we will be home before 6 p.m. Praise the Lord, he’s not dead and doesn’t need a pacemaker right now due to a screwed up surgery. I pray all will be well. Lord Abba Father, God be with both of us right now.
The doctor had told me that Jan will be in bed for a couple of days. This will be a good time for him to do the Christmas cards. Maybe we will get them out early this year. Where should I buy them? How many should I buy? Maybe I’ll start with 50 and go from there. We have to get the ones out to Europe in good time.
Twenty people surround me in the small CC waiting room. Daughters, sons, husbands, wives, and all the other family members who are waiting anxiously for the results of a loved one who is currently going through heart surgery. No one under 14 years old can wait here. I wonder why? A Pepsi machine is next to a candy machine, they flank the right hand door. Beside them on the right of the machines are 2 water fountains. One water fountain is taller than the other. Maybe it is for the little people they don’t allow in the waiting room? Or maybe it’s for handicapped individuals in wheelchairs? I’m not sure. There is a coffee set up next to the water fountains, which resides 6 inches from the door. Everything on the coffee table is disposable.
The nurse said every hour or hour and a half they would let me know Jan’s status, which is good. It’s 10 a.m. now. A doctor is recounting the outcome of a cardiac procedure to a family 15 feet away from me. Stints, stitches, and holding area those are the only words I pick up. The TV is competing with the doctor’s explanation. I’m trying not to ease drop but the room is small. Had a banana and an egg biscuit this morning at 7:45. Why do I get hungry when I’m anxious? Most people lose their appetites. I guess I still have to work on my “emotional eating patterns”.
Read an article on the “New Divorce”. Subheading, why more women than ever are calling it quits and why men don’t see it coming in the August 2004 AARP magazine. Should have stuck with the spiritual book I was reading. The one Cheryl Jones gave me for my birthday called “Lessons I Learned in the Dark, Steps to Walking by Faith, not by Sight” by Jennifer Rothschild. The introduction is by Beth Moore, who is one of my favorite people. She also gave me the journal that I’m writing on right now along with the book.
I may go to the Café again and see what there is. I need a walk more than anything and I could use a ladies room. It’s 10:55 a.m. and I went to the café. They only thing that looked good was a piece of cornbread. Have you ever brought something you thought you wanted to eat, it looked good, and then when you tasted it, it didn’t live up to your expectations? I find that a lot in life. Is there a spiritual lesson to by learnt?
Left my umbrella besides the receptionist on my way to the main lobby. Navigating back to the CC waiting room I only missed one turn and had to retract my steps only by 200 paces. I hope I don’t forget that umbrella. I’m tempted to put it in the car when I go on my next adventure. Now there are 24 people in the waiting room. There is an ebb and flow of bodies coming in and out. Funny the things you notice when you’re waiting. The commercials on TV, “New Apprentice”, Julia Roberts interview coming up for her new movie “Closer”, Access Hollywood, Niva of “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” fame looks really good as she is being interviewed on the red carpet.
Back to my spiritual book on page 15 the last sentence reads “Although suffering can be the hearts best taskmaster, its curriculum may open the door to freedom beyond our loftiest expectations. Sometimes in the adversity we dread that we begin to discover the kind of life we’ve only dreamed of”. Suffering is the hearts taskmaster. Lord, I hate to suffer. Sometimes it hurts so much.
That was Frankie on the phone. Jan came through the procedure fine. Four burns later to his heart, Dr. Druker will come to see me in the waiting room in about 45 minuets to give me more information, that’s if everything is o.k. after being held in recovery for 45 minuets. If not, Frankie will call me again to tell if they have to continue the ablation. He was in arterial fibrillation, that’s more serious than the flutter and they had to do a cardio conversion (shock) and that didn’t thrill me. I can only hope and pray that all will be well.
It’s 11:15 a.m. watching or glancing every so often at the tube, scenes from “Desperate Housewives” are being pictured. The gardener is on a ladder clipping away at a tall bush. I try to go back to the book. I am trying to add up the time we will have to be in the hospital. I feel like we are prisoners who are plotting an escape. 45 minutes more in recovery, then 4 hours in a hospital room here. God willing we will be home before 6 p.m. Praise the Lord, he’s not dead and doesn’t need a pacemaker right now due to a screwed up surgery. I pray all will be well. Lord Abba Father, God be with both of us right now.
Monday, December 06, 2004
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A WIFE IN THE ICU WAITING ROOM
Reception was very nice in the CC (Cardiac Catherization) waiting room. The receptionist was on the ball. First she found the location of my husband. That by itself, I felt was no easy feat. Then about 20 minuets later I got a call from a nurse telling me that Jan was being shifted from the area they had done the first procedure the TEE which had gone very well. He was being taken to recovery and when he was settled down I would be able to see him. It’s now 9:35 a.m. it’s been 3 hours since we pulled up to the hospital. Jan has two more procedures to go. Someone told us the ablation would take 20 minutes. Who I don’t recall but in reality the doctor advised us that it usually takes between 2 and 6 hours depending on what they find when they go in. Is anxiety creeping back? Look up Susan, keep on looking up and not on the circumstances. Depending is a word most people don’t understand. Depending on what? What does it really translate as? What does it mean? What are they really trying to say? Depending on whether or not he survives? I think depending should be stricken from a doctor’s vocabulary.
After 15 minutes of watching the clock. Time goes by ever so slowly when you are watching the clock waiting for someone to call to give you the green light to see your husband before he is rolled around to surgery. A nurse finally arrives and tells me we have about 5 minutes to visit before Jan goes for his ablation. I follow the young blonde nurse from Maine. I’ve forgotten her name already. Through the maze of hallways to the bed where my beloved was hooked up to every monitor one could humanly imagine. I do not think they could have put another patch on his chest even if they tried. I see my husband and he smiles. Which is a blessing. I stroke his arm. He doesn’t say much. Only that the throat spray they used for the anesthesia was awful. Funny the things you remember when you are loaded up with drugs. The alarm on the monitor they used for his drip is going off indicating there is air in the line. The nurse assures us that everything is fine. Her supervisor comes over for the ringing never stops. She asks her to check the line. They determine the machine is faulty and they change machines. I move to the other side of the bed as not to get in their way. Still stroking Jan’s arm. The contact with him satisfies my spirit.
Frankie a friendly young black nurse introduces herself and tells me that she will be with Jan for the entire procedure. Jan was a bit drowsy but not completely out of it. I continue to stroke his head. He is sweating. Two young men come over to transport him. Frankie introduced us. She also said that I could follow them and give Jan some sugar at the point where they turned right to the operating room and I turned left back to the CC waiting room. I felt that was very thoughtful of her.
Watching the Today Show on channel 12 in the CC waiting room while writing to my journal. The segment is on the most desirable presents and fashions for Christmas. Seems an incredulous contrast, experiencing a life and death moment verses the media’s call to buy. How high can those heels get before a woman falls flat on her face. How glittery can the accessories be? Buy, buy, buy they keep telling us. You’ll feel better about yourself if you have this or look this way. The hype is alive and well. If only we looked like those models who where displaying the merchandise.
Reception was very nice in the CC (Cardiac Catherization) waiting room. The receptionist was on the ball. First she found the location of my husband. That by itself, I felt was no easy feat. Then about 20 minuets later I got a call from a nurse telling me that Jan was being shifted from the area they had done the first procedure the TEE which had gone very well. He was being taken to recovery and when he was settled down I would be able to see him. It’s now 9:35 a.m. it’s been 3 hours since we pulled up to the hospital. Jan has two more procedures to go. Someone told us the ablation would take 20 minutes. Who I don’t recall but in reality the doctor advised us that it usually takes between 2 and 6 hours depending on what they find when they go in. Is anxiety creeping back? Look up Susan, keep on looking up and not on the circumstances. Depending is a word most people don’t understand. Depending on what? What does it really translate as? What does it mean? What are they really trying to say? Depending on whether or not he survives? I think depending should be stricken from a doctor’s vocabulary.
After 15 minutes of watching the clock. Time goes by ever so slowly when you are watching the clock waiting for someone to call to give you the green light to see your husband before he is rolled around to surgery. A nurse finally arrives and tells me we have about 5 minutes to visit before Jan goes for his ablation. I follow the young blonde nurse from Maine. I’ve forgotten her name already. Through the maze of hallways to the bed where my beloved was hooked up to every monitor one could humanly imagine. I do not think they could have put another patch on his chest even if they tried. I see my husband and he smiles. Which is a blessing. I stroke his arm. He doesn’t say much. Only that the throat spray they used for the anesthesia was awful. Funny the things you remember when you are loaded up with drugs. The alarm on the monitor they used for his drip is going off indicating there is air in the line. The nurse assures us that everything is fine. Her supervisor comes over for the ringing never stops. She asks her to check the line. They determine the machine is faulty and they change machines. I move to the other side of the bed as not to get in their way. Still stroking Jan’s arm. The contact with him satisfies my spirit.
Frankie a friendly young black nurse introduces herself and tells me that she will be with Jan for the entire procedure. Jan was a bit drowsy but not completely out of it. I continue to stroke his head. He is sweating. Two young men come over to transport him. Frankie introduced us. She also said that I could follow them and give Jan some sugar at the point where they turned right to the operating room and I turned left back to the CC waiting room. I felt that was very thoughtful of her.
Watching the Today Show on channel 12 in the CC waiting room while writing to my journal. The segment is on the most desirable presents and fashions for Christmas. Seems an incredulous contrast, experiencing a life and death moment verses the media’s call to buy. How high can those heels get before a woman falls flat on her face. How glittery can the accessories be? Buy, buy, buy they keep telling us. You’ll feel better about yourself if you have this or look this way. The hype is alive and well. If only we looked like those models who where displaying the merchandise.
Sunday, December 05, 2004
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A WIFE IN THE ICU WAITING ROOM
December 1, 2004
Up at 4:30 am snuck back to bed for a couple more minutes but got up by 4:15 am. Jan had to be out the door by 6:15 and at the hospital by 6:30. It was a dark and rainy morning. The leaves where piled high on the sides of the streets. They were blowing over the road. Creating that wet leafy shinny slimy muck that covers a wet rainy road. Visibility was dim, yet onwards and outwards we went.
I had a couple of minuets before we left the house so I bleached my teeth, Dr. Handy would be proud of me, checked my e-mail, played a couple of minutes of bridge on MSN Zone, blogged to my webblog http://www.misfitmom.blogspot.com/, checked my friend Andrew’s blog at http://www.tallskinnykiwi.typepad.com/ then folded some laundry. All accomplished within 8 or so minutes. Andrew’s father died while he was enroute to his brother’s funeral in Australia. That’s a lot of grief. I decided not to mention it to Jan this morning as I was taking him for his own procedure that had risks associated with it.
I’m sitting in the ICU waiting room. Why I can’t wait with Jan I do not know. I delivered him to the area where he gets prepped for surgery. The nurse instructed me to go wait in the waiting room. So, here I sit waiting. I’m going to be doing a lot of waiting today. Maybe I should have worn my nurse’s uniform then I could have come and gone at will? It’s probably because of malpractice that they want to keep the family as far away from the medical activity as possible. I have a very different idea but then again that’s me. Maybe I could have cleared it with the doctor in advance to stay with Jan? I wonder what Shirley Corts did when her husband was undergoing cardiac surgery one surgery after another. Shirley was the Pastor’s wife at Calvary. She too was a nurse and very vigilant. I somehow think she didn’t take no for an answer. I could call her but maybe she wants to forget as well.
I’m sitting next to a woman who brought her mother here at 2 a.m. hemorrhaging; she’s in an advanced stage of cancer. She together with her whole family of 12 or more are gathered around us. The teenagers are laughing and making the most of the situation, the other adults just look numb, blank and tired, especially the women. I moved 10 feet to the TV area where I could watch the news. I answered a couple of calls that were being unanswered in the ICU. The phone kept ringing and ringing I guess everyone wanted someone else to pick it up, so I did. I answered several phone calls for others in the ICU, calling out the names of the families that the caller was inquiring about.
Two hours after first entering the ICU waiting room I found out that I was in the wrong waiting room. For the prep nurse said that she’d call before Jan was taken up for his surgery. Two hours later no call so I started asking questions. I asked a lady who worked in the pharmacy and she told me that I was in the wrong waiting room. I should have been in the cardiac catherization waiting room, so much for instructions and communication. The elderly volunteer at the reception desk gave me a piece of page about 1/3 the size of a regular sheet with instructions to the right waiting room. I even asked along the way because I didn’t want a further detour. I was told the follow the yellow dots. Have you ever felt like a mouse in a maze. Well that was one of those moments and that’s how I felt. I guess others have had those mouse moments because why would they have put the dots on the floor? Here are the directions they gave me to the Cath Lab waiting room from ICU. Take a right out of the ICU waiting room. Turn right at the second hallway, go the end of the hall and turn left. Go to the elevators and turn right. Here we have some confusion for there are several elevators. This is the place I asked for help. Continue down hallway, waiting room is on the left. The dots appear somewhere near the elevators. They didn’t tell you about the construction going on and that a wall that was there the day before had been removed. I got there in the end.
I prayed this morning that I would keep my focus upwards and not on the situation. I likened it to walking on water. If I just kept looking up I wouldn’t sink emotionally or spiritually. I could handle what was before me. The whole day at different times felt like a spiritual hurdle race. Taking one at a time trying not to fall.
December 1, 2004
Up at 4:30 am snuck back to bed for a couple more minutes but got up by 4:15 am. Jan had to be out the door by 6:15 and at the hospital by 6:30. It was a dark and rainy morning. The leaves where piled high on the sides of the streets. They were blowing over the road. Creating that wet leafy shinny slimy muck that covers a wet rainy road. Visibility was dim, yet onwards and outwards we went.
I had a couple of minuets before we left the house so I bleached my teeth, Dr. Handy would be proud of me, checked my e-mail, played a couple of minutes of bridge on MSN Zone, blogged to my webblog http://www.misfitmom.blogspot.com/, checked my friend Andrew’s blog at http://www.tallskinnykiwi.typepad.com/ then folded some laundry. All accomplished within 8 or so minutes. Andrew’s father died while he was enroute to his brother’s funeral in Australia. That’s a lot of grief. I decided not to mention it to Jan this morning as I was taking him for his own procedure that had risks associated with it.
I’m sitting in the ICU waiting room. Why I can’t wait with Jan I do not know. I delivered him to the area where he gets prepped for surgery. The nurse instructed me to go wait in the waiting room. So, here I sit waiting. I’m going to be doing a lot of waiting today. Maybe I should have worn my nurse’s uniform then I could have come and gone at will? It’s probably because of malpractice that they want to keep the family as far away from the medical activity as possible. I have a very different idea but then again that’s me. Maybe I could have cleared it with the doctor in advance to stay with Jan? I wonder what Shirley Corts did when her husband was undergoing cardiac surgery one surgery after another. Shirley was the Pastor’s wife at Calvary. She too was a nurse and very vigilant. I somehow think she didn’t take no for an answer. I could call her but maybe she wants to forget as well.
I’m sitting next to a woman who brought her mother here at 2 a.m. hemorrhaging; she’s in an advanced stage of cancer. She together with her whole family of 12 or more are gathered around us. The teenagers are laughing and making the most of the situation, the other adults just look numb, blank and tired, especially the women. I moved 10 feet to the TV area where I could watch the news. I answered a couple of calls that were being unanswered in the ICU. The phone kept ringing and ringing I guess everyone wanted someone else to pick it up, so I did. I answered several phone calls for others in the ICU, calling out the names of the families that the caller was inquiring about.
Two hours after first entering the ICU waiting room I found out that I was in the wrong waiting room. For the prep nurse said that she’d call before Jan was taken up for his surgery. Two hours later no call so I started asking questions. I asked a lady who worked in the pharmacy and she told me that I was in the wrong waiting room. I should have been in the cardiac catherization waiting room, so much for instructions and communication. The elderly volunteer at the reception desk gave me a piece of page about 1/3 the size of a regular sheet with instructions to the right waiting room. I even asked along the way because I didn’t want a further detour. I was told the follow the yellow dots. Have you ever felt like a mouse in a maze. Well that was one of those moments and that’s how I felt. I guess others have had those mouse moments because why would they have put the dots on the floor? Here are the directions they gave me to the Cath Lab waiting room from ICU. Take a right out of the ICU waiting room. Turn right at the second hallway, go the end of the hall and turn left. Go to the elevators and turn right. Here we have some confusion for there are several elevators. This is the place I asked for help. Continue down hallway, waiting room is on the left. The dots appear somewhere near the elevators. They didn’t tell you about the construction going on and that a wall that was there the day before had been removed. I got there in the end.
I prayed this morning that I would keep my focus upwards and not on the situation. I likened it to walking on water. If I just kept looking up I wouldn’t sink emotionally or spiritually. I could handle what was before me. The whole day at different times felt like a spiritual hurdle race. Taking one at a time trying not to fall.
Saturday, December 04, 2004
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A WIFE IN THE ICU WAITING ROOM
December 1, 2004
I’m writing this in hopes that there might be someone out there in cyberspace, in the world that might be comforted, amused, or reminded that we are not alone through my experience in the ICU waiting room and beyond.
They say the longest journey starts with the first step so would it be right to say that the longest story starts with the first word. I wrote a 10 page plus saga on my experience in hospital while my husband Jan was going through a TEE, Cardioconversion and Ablation and then some. You may ask what are all these procedures? So, I went to my web browser and got you some information. Now you’re almost as smart as the doctors. When I think there were approximately 20 people in the waiting room times 360 days. That represents 7,200 familes just in one hospital’s waiting room. Mutiply that by the total number of hospitals doing this procedure every day and you can see that it might affect almost every family in America at one time or another.
Transesophageal echocardiography (TEE)
TEE is a special type of echocardiogram. A tube with an echocardiogram transducer on the end of it is passed down a person's throat and into the esophagus. (This is the tube connecting the mouth to the stomach.) The esophagus is right behind the heart, and images from TEE can give very clear pictures of the heart and its structures.
Cardioversion
In this procedure, a small electrical shock is delivered to the heart through the chest to stop certain very fast arrhythmias such as atrial fibrillation, supraventricular tachycardia, or sinus tachycardia. The patient is connected to an EKG monitor which is also connected to the cardioversion device. The electrical shock is delivered at a precise point during the EKG cycle.
Ablation
This is an invasive procedure done in the electrophysiology laboratory, which means that a catheter (hollow tube) is inserted into the heart through a vessel in the groin or arm. The procedure is done in a manner similar to the electrophysiology studies (EPS) described above. Once the site of the arrhythmia has been determined by EPS, the catheter is moved to the site. By use of a technique such as radiofrequency ablation (very high frequency radio waves are applied to the site, heating the tissue until the site is destroyed) or cryoablation (an ultra-cold substance is applied to the site, freezing the tissue and destroying the site), the site of the arrhythmia may be destroyed.
This is the first installment for if I wrote 10 pages it would blog down my blog. So, I thought I'd write it in stages. A little at a time. But in the end it will all be there.
December 1, 2004
I’m writing this in hopes that there might be someone out there in cyberspace, in the world that might be comforted, amused, or reminded that we are not alone through my experience in the ICU waiting room and beyond.
They say the longest journey starts with the first step so would it be right to say that the longest story starts with the first word. I wrote a 10 page plus saga on my experience in hospital while my husband Jan was going through a TEE, Cardioconversion and Ablation and then some. You may ask what are all these procedures? So, I went to my web browser and got you some information. Now you’re almost as smart as the doctors. When I think there were approximately 20 people in the waiting room times 360 days. That represents 7,200 familes just in one hospital’s waiting room. Mutiply that by the total number of hospitals doing this procedure every day and you can see that it might affect almost every family in America at one time or another.
Transesophageal echocardiography (TEE)
TEE is a special type of echocardiogram. A tube with an echocardiogram transducer on the end of it is passed down a person's throat and into the esophagus. (This is the tube connecting the mouth to the stomach.) The esophagus is right behind the heart, and images from TEE can give very clear pictures of the heart and its structures.
Cardioversion
In this procedure, a small electrical shock is delivered to the heart through the chest to stop certain very fast arrhythmias such as atrial fibrillation, supraventricular tachycardia, or sinus tachycardia. The patient is connected to an EKG monitor which is also connected to the cardioversion device. The electrical shock is delivered at a precise point during the EKG cycle.
Ablation
This is an invasive procedure done in the electrophysiology laboratory, which means that a catheter (hollow tube) is inserted into the heart through a vessel in the groin or arm. The procedure is done in a manner similar to the electrophysiology studies (EPS) described above. Once the site of the arrhythmia has been determined by EPS, the catheter is moved to the site. By use of a technique such as radiofrequency ablation (very high frequency radio waves are applied to the site, heating the tissue until the site is destroyed) or cryoablation (an ultra-cold substance is applied to the site, freezing the tissue and destroying the site), the site of the arrhythmia may be destroyed.
This is the first installment for if I wrote 10 pages it would blog down my blog. So, I thought I'd write it in stages. A little at a time. But in the end it will all be there.
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
We're on the way to the hospital this morning. It's 6:09 am and Jan has to be there by 6:30. Please keep us uplifted in your prayers today and tomorrow we really need them.
Remind me to tell you about Alexandra's problem tomorrow. I'm taking one crisis at a time. For I can't jump over these high hurdles more than one at a time.
I was reading that suffering perfected Christ, He is our perfect High Priest in Hebrews 5 today.
Suffering could be a blog on it's own. That's one hurdle that is very difficult for me, especially when it involves my children.
Remind me to tell you about Alexandra's problem tomorrow. I'm taking one crisis at a time. For I can't jump over these high hurdles more than one at a time.
I was reading that suffering perfected Christ, He is our perfect High Priest in Hebrews 5 today.
Suffering could be a blog on it's own. That's one hurdle that is very difficult for me, especially when it involves my children.
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