A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A WIFE IN THE ICU WAITING ROOM

The doctor had told me that Jan will be in bed for a couple of days. This will be a good time for him to do the Christmas cards. Maybe we will get them out early this year. Where should I buy them? How many should I buy? Maybe I’ll start with 50 and go from there. We have to get the ones out to Europe in good time.

Twenty people surround me in the small CC waiting room. Daughters, sons, husbands, wives, and all the other family members who are waiting anxiously for the results of a loved one who is currently going through heart surgery. No one under 14 years old can wait here. I wonder why? A Pepsi machine is next to a candy machine, they flank the right hand door. Beside them on the right of the machines are 2 water fountains. One water fountain is taller than the other. Maybe it is for the little people they don’t allow in the waiting room? Or maybe it’s for handicapped individuals in wheelchairs? I’m not sure. There is a coffee set up next to the water fountains, which resides 6 inches from the door. Everything on the coffee table is disposable.

The nurse said every hour or hour and a half they would let me know Jan’s status, which is good. It’s 10 a.m. now. A doctor is recounting the outcome of a cardiac procedure to a family 15 feet away from me. Stints, stitches, and holding area those are the only words I pick up. The TV is competing with the doctor’s explanation. I’m trying not to ease drop but the room is small. Had a banana and an egg biscuit this morning at 7:45. Why do I get hungry when I’m anxious? Most people lose their appetites. I guess I still have to work on my “emotional eating patterns”.

Read an article on the “New Divorce”. Subheading, why more women than ever are calling it quits and why men don’t see it coming in the August 2004 AARP magazine. Should have stuck with the spiritual book I was reading. The one Cheryl Jones gave me for my birthday called “Lessons I Learned in the Dark, Steps to Walking by Faith, not by Sight” by Jennifer Rothschild. The introduction is by Beth Moore, who is one of my favorite people. She also gave me the journal that I’m writing on right now along with the book.

I may go to the Café again and see what there is. I need a walk more than anything and I could use a ladies room. It’s 10:55 a.m. and I went to the café. They only thing that looked good was a piece of cornbread. Have you ever brought something you thought you wanted to eat, it looked good, and then when you tasted it, it didn’t live up to your expectations? I find that a lot in life. Is there a spiritual lesson to by learnt?

Left my umbrella besides the receptionist on my way to the main lobby. Navigating back to the CC waiting room I only missed one turn and had to retract my steps only by 200 paces. I hope I don’t forget that umbrella. I’m tempted to put it in the car when I go on my next adventure. Now there are 24 people in the waiting room. There is an ebb and flow of bodies coming in and out. Funny the things you notice when you’re waiting. The commercials on TV, “New Apprentice”, Julia Roberts interview coming up for her new movie “Closer”, Access Hollywood, Niva of “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” fame looks really good as she is being interviewed on the red carpet.

Back to my spiritual book on page 15 the last sentence reads “Although suffering can be the hearts best taskmaster, its curriculum may open the door to freedom beyond our loftiest expectations. Sometimes in the adversity we dread that we begin to discover the kind of life we’ve only dreamed of”. Suffering is the hearts taskmaster. Lord, I hate to suffer. Sometimes it hurts so much.

That was Frankie on the phone. Jan came through the procedure fine. Four burns later to his heart, Dr. Druker will come to see me in the waiting room in about 45 minuets to give me more information, that’s if everything is o.k. after being held in recovery for 45 minuets. If not, Frankie will call me again to tell if they have to continue the ablation. He was in arterial fibrillation, that’s more serious than the flutter and they had to do a cardio conversion (shock) and that didn’t thrill me. I can only hope and pray that all will be well.

It’s 11:15 a.m. watching or glancing every so often at the tube, scenes from “Desperate Housewives” are being pictured. The gardener is on a ladder clipping away at a tall bush. I try to go back to the book. I am trying to add up the time we will have to be in the hospital. I feel like we are prisoners who are plotting an escape. 45 minutes more in recovery, then 4 hours in a hospital room here. God willing we will be home before 6 p.m. Praise the Lord, he’s not dead and doesn’t need a pacemaker right now due to a screwed up surgery. I pray all will be well. Lord Abba Father, God be with both of us right now.