Dialogue that goes on in your brain. I've read the first chapter of James Frey's book A Million Little Pieces, and I'm depressed. Saddened by the depth of his anguish and anger, saddened that the anger that comes through in every word of his dialogue reminds me of the edge my son too often puts on his words. The same edge I may have had in the past myself. It is hard for me to read. But I may force myself. I know that the outcome is good for I've seen the author on Oprah and not only is he surviving but he has a ministry to many other kids that are walking through the same hell.

Alexandra is reading me bits and pieces of that book A Million Pieces, the one on Oprah's Book Club choice this month. I like the concept of his internal dialogue. Which gives me the courage to share some of my own. Especially that dialogue which isn't very pretty. It's amazing the thoughts that go on in our heads. The minds that are suppose to be godly, the battles that are really vicious and close to deadly. The battles are real.
Life death
Purity lustfulness
Looking up looking down
Spirit flesh
You me
Good bad
Just some of my thoughts for today

I'm going to try to keep my focus off myself and others and onto the LORD.
Today I'm going to try to be happy.
Seeing good in all things especially in the little things.
I'm going to have a praiseful heart.
There is going to an intentional smile on my face.
Let's see what the outcome will bring.

I'm thinking about new ways in which 20 something
30 something and beyond Christian people can connect with each other in hopes of finding a lasting relationship.
Any ideas?

Interesting study this morning about our attitudes towards sin. Do I have a repentent attitude or do I make excuses? How do I react when I'm corrected? Do you feel you have good or bad attitude? You know what's going on in your head and in your flesh.
I'm in Gen. 4: 6-19
6 Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."
8 Now Cain said to his brother Abel, "Let's go out to the field." [a] And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.
9 Then the LORD said to Cain, "Where is your brother Abel?"
"I don't know," he replied. "Am I my brother's keeper?"
10 The LORD said, "What have you done? Listen! Your brother's blood cries out to me from the ground. 11 Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother's blood from your hand. 12 When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. You will be a restless wanderer on the earth."
1 John 1: 5-11
Walking in the light
5This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. 7But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all[a] sin.
8If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.
11You are hereby banished from the ground you have defiled with your brother's blood
12No longer will it yield abundant crops for you, no matter how hard you work! From now on you will be a homeless fugitive on the earth, constantly wandering from place to place."
13Cain replied to the LORD, "My punishment[a] is too great for me to bear! 14You have banished me from my land and from your presence; you have made me a wandering fugitive. All who see me will try to kill me!"
15The LORD replied, "They will not kill you, for I will give seven times your punishment to anyone who does." Then the LORD put a mark on Cain to warn anyone who might try to kill him. 16So Cain left the LORD's presence and settled in the land of Nod,[b] east of Eden.
One of my study questions today asks us to contrast Cain's remark after his punishment with David's remarks after his punishment. (See 2 Sam. 12:13 and Ps 51)

1 Cor. 10:13
13But remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can't stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it.
My commentary said we should recognize those people and situations that give us trouble.
Chose to do only what is right.
Pray for God's help when you are tempted.
Run away from a tempting situation.
Yesterday I was on the battle field myself. Thousands of choices each and everyday. I made a couple of wrong ones. Knowing that I was moving in the wrong direction this morning I asked God's forgiveness and He gave me these verses. Not only for me but for you too. I know for me I'm really not too far from self destructing. I often feel on the edge and only by God's grace I'm here to share this with you.

Today I was reading Gen. 4:6-8, John 3:10-16, and 1 Cor. 10:13
The questions were as follows:
Compare Genesis 4:6-8 with 1 Corin 10:13. Which phrases in Genesis 4:6-8 suggest that God prepared a way of escape from temptation for Cain?
How does Gen. 4:6-7 show God's tender understanding of Cain's unhappy heart?
Explain Gen 4:7 in your own words, phrase by phrase.
List the ways 1 John 3:10-16 applies to Genesis 4: 1-15.
In what ways does Abel remind you of Christ? Are you dealing with any of the problems that Cain dealt with? ie jealeousy, anger, rebellion? (to name a few).
I was struck when I read this portion of scripture today what my commentary said about dealing with temptations.

Genesis 3
The serpent's threefold method of temptation. Interesting enough, he is still up to his same old tricks.
First, he brought doubt of God's love and discontent with our present circumstances.
(If you're moaning and groaning about something in your life today, stop and start praising God for the blessing. Look at your cup 1/2 full instead of 1/2 empty).
Second, the devil suggested that we can can away with our sin, without punishment.
(Wrong, If God says that there are penalities for sin, rest assured that they will come).
The devil caused Eve to lose her healthy fear of disobeying God and to doubt His Word concerning the consequences. Eve did die! We die! Are we going to die in our sins or are we going to have eternal life through Jesus Christ? That's the question to ponder.
Third, the serpent finally wedged open the door into Eve's heart. He excited her personal ambition to excel. She craved to appear wise and powerful, like God and to exert her independent will. Eve went for the deception and look what happened....
She listened to the deceiver, instead of running away, instead of keeping her eye on the blessing, instead of considering all that she had, she looked on the one thing she didn't.
She looked at what was forbidden. Are you spending time obsessing about what you know you should not have or do. Are you concentrating on something God has forbidden. Looking led to enchantment and infatuation with the fobidden thing as to blind her. Are you blinded? Drugs, sex, rock and roll, what's the forbidden fruit in your life that you need to flee from?
She took what wasn't hers. This was the final deliberate choice, the birth to sin. Are you at the point of making a fatal error of judgement?
She ate!
She gave! Funny how we still have a tendency to want to share sin with others. Sin done in secret still affects those closest to us.

Temptation
Sin
Rebellion
Willfulness
Shame
Guilt
Fear
Disbelief
Lies
Desire
Lust
What do all these words have to do with each other today?

Sin, shame, guilt, deception, fear, are some of the words that come to mind after reading Genesis account of how the serpent tricked Eve into eating the fruit of the tree of good and evil.
It's an interesting study on how Satan deceived, lied, twisted the truth and in so doing so tricked Eve into settling for less of what God had in store for her. He does the same thing now. He uses the same methods that he used on Eve, that he used on Jesus, that he uses on every individual I believe and certainly those who want to walk with GOD.
Do a study on sin. Both in Genesis, Matthew, John, 1 John, See the enemies tactics. What is our counter defense. It's an interesting journey. For we all hold in common our trails, temptations, and lusts of the flesh.

blog blog blog
Our thoughts, our emotions, our prayers going up to the LORD and to each other, what is their value or worth? Sometimes I feel very connected and other times very disconnected.
I was reading in Genesis that God made us for fellowship with Him. A real love relationship, intimacy, security, trust, conversation, etc. His name says He is the meeter of all our needs. I need something right now deep in my spirit yet I can't even verbalize what it is.

How did God test Adam's obedience? What is God asking you to aliviate in your life? How is God testing your obedience today?
Genesis 2:15-25
15The LORD God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and care for it. 16But the LORD God gave him this warning: "You may freely eat any fruit in the garden 17except fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat of its fruit, you will surely die."

18And the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him." 19So the LORD God formed from the soil every kind of animal and bird. He brought them to Adam[a] to see what he would call them, and Adam chose a name for each one. 20He gave names to all the livestock, birds, and wild animals. But still there was no companion suitable for him. 21So the LORD God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep. He took one of Adam's ribs[b] and closed up the place from which he had taken it. 22Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib and brought her to Adam.

23"At last!" Adam exclaimed. "She is part of my own flesh and bone! She will be called `woman,' because she was taken out of a man." 24This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. 25Now, although Adam and his wife were both naked, neither of them felt any shame.

After reading Genesis 1 today I was struck by the thought that God made us in His image, a little lower than Himself. We are crowned with glory and honor. His creation made with a purpose in mind to care and tend for the animals, gardens, and all of His creation. Our purpose has not changed from the very beginning. Am I caring for my planet, the animals, or brother and sister the way God would have me to do?
Genesis 1
The Account of Creation 1In the beginning God created[a] the heavens and the earth. 2The earth was empty, a formless mass cloaked in darkness. And the Spirit of God was hovering over its surface. 3Then God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. 4And God saw that it was good. Then he separated the light from the darkness. 5God called the light "day" and the darkness "night." Together these made up one day.
6And God said, "Let there be space between the waters, to separate water from water." 7And so it was. God made this space to separate the waters above from the waters below. 8And God called the space "sky." This happened on the second day.
9And God said, "Let the waters beneath the sky be gathered into one place so dry ground may appear." And so it was. 10God named the dry ground "land" and the water "seas." And God saw that it was good. 11Then God said, "Let the land burst forth with every sort of grass and seed-bearing plant. And let there be trees that grow seed-bearing fruit. The seeds will then produce the kinds of plants and trees from which they came." And so it was. 12The land was filled with seed-bearing plants and trees, and their seeds produced plants and trees of like kind. And God saw that it was good. 13This all happened on the third day.
14And God said, "Let bright lights appear in the sky to separate the day from the night. They will be signs to mark off the seasons, the days, and the years. 15Let their light shine down upon the earth." And so it was. 16For God made two great lights, the sun and the moon, to shine down upon the earth. The greater one, the sun, presides during the day; the lesser one, the moon, presides through the night. He also made the stars. 17God set these lights in the heavens to light the earth, 18to govern the day and the night, and to separate the light from the darkness. And God saw that it was good. 19This all happened on the fourth day.
20And God said, "Let the waters swarm with fish and other life. Let the skies be filled with birds of every kind." 21So God created great sea creatures and every sort of fish and every kind of bird. And God saw that it was good. 22Then God blessed them, saying, "Let the fish multiply and fill the oceans. Let the birds increase and fill the earth." 23This all happened on the fifth day.
24And God said, "Let the earth bring forth every kind of animal--livestock, small animals, and wildlife." And so it was. 25God made all sorts of wild animals, livestock, and small animals, each able to reproduce more of its own kind. And God saw that it was good.
26Then God said, "Let us make people[b] in our image, to be like ourselves. They will be masters over all life--the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the livestock, wild animals,[c] and small animals."
27 So God created people in his own image; God patterned them after himself; male and female he created them. 28God blessed them and told them, "Multiply and fill the earth and subdue it. Be masters over the fish and birds and all the animals." 29And God said, "Look! I have given you the seed-bearing plants throughout the earth and all the fruit trees for your food. 30And I have given all the grasses and other green plants to the animals and birds for their food." And so it was. 31Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was excellent in every way. This all happened on the sixth day.